he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
