I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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