i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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