He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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