There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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