i barfeds in our rink
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
