That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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