the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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