We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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