It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize