oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
