i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
