My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
