we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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