I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
