im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
