this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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