ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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