At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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