you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
