dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
