wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
