Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
birth control should be required to get into college
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize