I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
