i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We need to get me chipped asap
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
