wakey wakey hands off snakey
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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