I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize