I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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