Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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