i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
my liver is dry heaving
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
