she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
