Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
