a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
