I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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