I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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