help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
