nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
