i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
