They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
