.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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