I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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