love makes seman taste better
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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