I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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