Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
