Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I still have a little drunk in my system
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
