That's intense
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
