everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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