dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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