Will you blow on my dice?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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