That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
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