it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
