Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
