This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
