discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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