wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you will always have a special place in my vag
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
