dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
