How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
