somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize