i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
