I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
