You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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