id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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