and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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