i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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