Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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