and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
