She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
