:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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