You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I could fuck to npr.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
