Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
