i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dear god my vagina.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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