The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
