can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
