i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize