dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize